My Goals for Motherhood- 52 Weeks of Blogging with a Purpose

Linking up again with Becky today to talk about my goals for motherhood...because that's an easy post to knock out. This one took awhile, and there were a few tears while writing it.

 

 

 

How do I set goals for something I will do for the rest of my life? A goal is sort of like an endpoint (its actually partially defined as an end point), and you never really end being a mother. I chose to look at another part of the definition, a target or an objective so that I wasn't so emotional thinking about the time that will come when my child(ren) won't really need me anymore. 

 

1. Be patient.  Grayson is almost two and he knows how to try my patience already.  It's important that when I am frustrated or THIS close to loosing my cool that I stop, take a breath, and find that extra dose of patience. I want to give him the room to grow and become his own little person, so sometimes I need to resist the urge to say "No, let me do it" or correct the way he is doing something because its not exactly "right". But you know what, HE is doing it. He is trying, growing and he's so proud of himself for accomplishing the task.  Sure, sometimes that means it takes us 15 minutes to brush our teeth and comb our hair, but it gets done and we're both better for it.  I've also noticed that when I am more patient with him, he shows more patience with others.

 

2. Be in the moment. Nine months of the year, I'm a working momma. I get three months of SAHM where I get to do all of the fun stuff that I miss out on all school year long. Embarrassingly enough, sometimes I don't take enough opportunity to enjoy that time as I am thinking of all of the other stuff that needs to get done in the day.  Rushing him inside from exploring the bugs in the mulch beds because we have to make dinner or checking my work email while he is coloring because I need to respond to a question from my boss.  I'm there, but I'm not as in the moment as I would like to be; and I need to change that, esp when I head back to work and only get a few hours a day to be with my kiddo.

 

3. Be a Yes Mom.  There is that old saying that used to appear on bibs and t-shirts 'I think my name is no-no'.  I try everyday to say "yes" to things that Grayson wants, even when they are harder for me or not what I want.  Last night I made him dinner, and he didn't want to eat. I made him chicken fryz and cut up a banana, which he usually loves. He shook his head no and cried. Rather than telling him to eat and ignore him, I asked him what he would like to eat. I unstrapped him from his booster seat and let him show me around the kitchen as to what he would like to eat. He picked mac n cheese and an apple. I made the mac, cut up the apple and sat it in front of him. By the time he was done eating there was nothing left on his plate and he was asking for more apple. Sure, by the time I sat down my dinner was a little cooler than I would have liked but I was okay with it.  I don't want him to get the idea that he can demand whatever he wants for dinner, but I want to be able to say yes to his thoughts a lot more. Even if that means blowing bubbles in the living room or squeezing a whole can of shave cream out into the tub and playing in the foam.  It makes him a happy kid to hear "Yes" to his ideas, so I try to make a mental note to do that more often.

 

 

4. Have him grow up surrounded by love.  I want to show him what a normal, healthy relationship is like. I want him to see parents who love each other unconditionally. I want him to see that we disagree, and I want him to see us work through our disagreements. I think its important that he not see us bottle up emotions, but rather talk about them- so that as he grows he feels free to express his opinions to us and other people in his life.

 

5. Teach him how to give. I want to raise a child that knows how important it is to give back and to serve others. I see lots of very self centered teenagers in my profession, and I don't want to raise a child who thinks he is at the center of the universe. I grew up serving on mission trips and volunteering, and working to earn things I wanted.  I want Grayson to do the same.

 

6. I want to be the parent my kid feels like he can come to with anything.  So often I have students open up to me with their biggest problems, fears and worries.  Things they REALLY should be talking to a parent about. I always ask if they've talked to Mom or Dad, and it breaks my heart when they say "They wont listen".  I always want Grayson (and any future children) to know that I will always listen, even if its something that I don't want to hear.  I want to help him work through his problems and know he always has two people in his corner no matter what.

 

7. I want him to get frustrated. Yep, you read that right.  Life is hard, and we get frustrated. If we don't let him get frustrated he will never know how to overcome his frustrations.  He will just give up when things get tough, and that's the last thing I want.  I tell my students life is tough, get a helmet. I will tell Gray the same. Just because things are tough does not mean you give up, it means you get though it and it makes you a better person.

 

Thank you, Eric Matthews.

 

8. To be adventurous. I want him to have the same wild spirit as his Daddy. To soar down a mountain on skis or want to see and do everything.  To explore and investigate and enjoy life. Just please, no jumping out of an airplane.

 

9. Be fun. Life is not always so serious, baby boy. We need to laugh and have fun. I want to be the Mom that when you have chores to do,  but the ice cream man is coming down the street we head outside to eat snow cones on the sidewalk. We have water balloon fights with Daddy. We blow bubbles in the kitchen and have dance parties. We LAUGH and create memories. Life is a balance between work and play, and I want to teach you that.

 

 

10. To know that no matter what happens, we love him more than words can ever say. We will make decisions for him that he feels are unfair, he may think we 'hate' him at some point in his life. I hope that he can always see that we love him and all of the decisions we make are out of love. We promise to always do our best for you and to give you everything you need in life. We will do this because we love you. You are the center of our world, and we will do anything for you. It is from this love that we will not buy you everything you demand, let you do unsafe or stupid things, quit when life gets hard or give up or pull away from us. We love you Bubbers, we really do. My ultimate goal in this parenting thing is that you always know that.

Toddler Mood Swings- Wowza.

Its amazing. You have this tiny, perfect little human who you love and adore and think is just the sweetest, best baby ever.  Then they approach age two and it all goes to hell in a hand basket. All of a sudden they explode with personality and attitude and opinions and some days it's enough to make this Mama meet Daddy on the sidewalk and practically throw Grayson into his arms.

 

Case in point. Today Gray woke up all smiles and snuggles. We went downstairs for breakfast and I asked what he wanted to eat.  I pulled every box of cereal down and when he finally chose the one he wanted I put it in a cup.  Well apparently that is where I went wrong. I received a resounding "NOOOOOOOOOO" and tears ensued like I had given him brussel sprouts rather than Corn Pops. Within nano seconds I had a puddle on the floor where my toddler once stood.  As I was trying to scoop him up to determine the problem his arms started flailing and he clocked me cold on the side of the head.  Welp, that got him a swift dump into time out. Cue an even BIGGER tantrum. Crocodile tears, ringing his eyes, crossing his arms....it was like he was being beaten rather than standing in time out for 1.5 minutes.  When it was over, I asked if he was ready to say sorry and come out- and just like that, my sweet baby was back. He gave hugs, and asked for his cereal. Then he sat at the table and munched like nothing happened.

 

Its like he has a crazy switch and throws it just for fun. Some days literally everything is met with a NOOO and tears, while others he's the most agreeable little thing- it can drive a Momma crazy. 

 

But you know what, its ALL toddlers. They're all insane together!!

 

I realized this just a few days ago after a disastrous trip to target where I was pretty sure they wouldn't allow me back because my kid was crying so loud in the store. (Why? Because he fell asleep in the car on the way there and I had the nerve to wake him and attempt to get him to sit in the cart while I tried to purchase a wire shelf unit for the basement. He wanted held and when I set him down to lift the 50 pound box, he lost it. Needless to say, we did not purchase the shelf. Rather, I ran out of that store after people started coming from other aisles to see if I was beating my child.) I was browsing FB when I saw a post from a Mommy in my playgroup of her sweet little Bean, having an epic temper tantrum.  She had commented how she was in time out for the second time that day for throwing a toy and was kicking and screaming the whole time.  Other Moms from our playgroup were chiming in with their stories of toddler psycho-ness and I realized, they're all going crazy together. 

 

All the kiddos are around the same age (born roughly end of September to the beginning of November 2011) and all seem to be hitting the terrible two's at the same early stage. It made me wonder that if at a recent trip to the park if they didn't all meet behind the monkey bars and plan out exactly how to get their Mommies admitted to an institution together. Because seriously, they could not have planned it better if they tried.

 

I think the only comfort that we have is the fact that when one of us feels like our kid has hit the crazy nail square on the head, there are at least four others chiming in with their horror stories. While to some it doesn't seem like it would be a help to know that another toddler embarrasses their parent in a public setting or hits and bites and punches when they are told "No you cant hit the dog with the shovel", it really does. 

 

It makes you feel better.

It makes you realize that you're not a terrible parent, doing something wrong or losing your mind. Its nice to know you're not alone, and there is someone there to listen and commiserate with. In a world where most people tend to give you "the eye" when your child is acting up or out in public, like you can't raise your child properly, its so amazing to have someone tell you that its okay. That they have been there, too. It makes you feel normal. And a little dose of normal amongst toddler psycho is a pretty great feeling.

 

 

 

Anyone else have crazy temper tantrum stories? I'd love to hear them!

 

 

 



K Family Vacation 2013

I love the beach. I'm pretty sure I am meant to live by the sea, barefoot with sand stuck on me somewhere. Not just any sea, but the Outer Banks.  I've been to the Caribbean and Mexico- but there is just something about that little spit of land that has my heart. Years ago I shared my favorite place on Earth with the hubs (who was just the bf back then!) and converted him from a beach hater to a beach lover. I could not wait to share our love for the sea with Grayson, to see how he would react. Since you know, my kid isn't real fond of having sand in his shoes or on his hands, I was a little nervous if he would love it or hate it.  He LOVED it.  He also loved that he had his Nana, Grandma and Grandpap with him for a whole week straight.  Grayson and his Pap are pretty much twins and were inseparable all week. He was not a happy camper today when Pap was not around. So here are some pictures of our week- I'm already planning next years trip!

 

 

Hubs insists on driving on the beach-- his brand new Subaru had 700 miles on it when it hit the sand.  

Birds, Ma! 

Napping on Grandma.

BFFs.

Daddy caught a fish, and Grayson wanted to hug him.

Holding the fishy. (Don't worry, we put him right back in the ocean!)

Why is Pap Grayson's favorite? Could it be that he gives him a comfy chair, a bucket of water to rest his feet in then hand feeds him cherries and water out of a bottle cap in the shade? #kingofthebribes

Surfing.

Flying his new kite.

Photo bombed by the hubs.



Oh, Pap also pulls you in the shallow water for hours if you say "Peas!!"

The K Family- 2013. 

Silly face photo shoot. This is the face Grayson makes when he says "George" as in Curious George. I die.



"Thomas" 

Move over, Beckham!



 

 

See you next year, ocean!

If I could turn back time...

Linking up with Becky again for this weeks 52 weeks of blogging with a purpose.  

 

 

Life is so full of moments when you think "Crap, I wish that would have gone differently." From the silly deciding on a route to travel and picking the one that leaves you stuck in traffic to the interactions with people when you say things you probably shouldn't have said, we all wish at some time we could go back and make a different decision. But the thing is, every decision I made lead me to where I am today, so do I really want to change anything?

 

Truth is, no, I don't. But in the grand scheme of things there are things I wish I could have known that would have made life easier.

 

If I could turn back time, I'd tell my 7th grade self that it will get better. Seventh grade was a rough one and kids can be class A jerks. I wish I could tell myself that it doesn't matter what those people say it will get better.

 

I wish I could tell myself to not worry about the heartache after boyfriends #1, #2, #3, and #4. Some of them were amazing, some of them had moments where they were not amazing. Some broke my heart and said things that were not so nice, and I took it hard. Some (okay, one) acted as if I were stupid and treated me as such, and I let it go because I thought they loved me. I wish I could just tell myself to move on, because they were not the one for me and in reality they were wrong.

 

I wish I could go back and tell myself to spend more time with my grandma. Growing up I lived with her and its not that I took her for granted, but I took for granted the fact that she was there. When she passed away from cancer in 2001 I realized that I would never get the chance to go to bingo with her again, or help weed the garden. I wish I would have taken her up on those offers more. I also wish I would have learned her recipes. That woman could cook, but was horrible at writing down a recipe.

 

If I could turn back time, I would have done a destination wedding.  So much time and effort, so much stress- I should have just paid to get married in Hawaii. Then whoever wanted to come would come, and I wouldn't have been up till 2AM tying wedding programs. Someone I paid would be doing that, and I would be on a beach drinking something fab with an umbrella.  I loved my wedding, and thought it turned out wonderful. I think if I just knew what I knew now, I'd just do it differently.

 

If I could turn back time, Id stop a few outfit choices from ever becoming reality.  Just because a trend is popular on celebrities does not mean it should grace the halls of a PA high school. Here's a visual- spandex shorts, oversized t-shirt and knee socks with kisses all over them. Eep.

 

Overall, I'm thrilled with the way life has turned out- and it really did all worked out in the end. I'm sure if I did this same post in 5 years I would feel the same, but there will probably be more questionable outfit choices in there somewhere. Fashion plate, I am not. However, I have graduated to big kid stores, so hopefully that helps!

 

What would you do if you could turn back time?



Five on Friday!

Its Friday- the eve of The K Family Beach Trip- WOO HOO!  Tonight at midnight we set off for the Outer Banks for a glorious week in the sun (hear that weather, I said SUN- NOT RAIN!). Any who since my brain is literally a ball of mush today as I attempt to pack for me and the tiny human, get various animals off to their respective pet sitters for the week and clean my house so that it doesn't look a wreck when we come home next Saturday, I decided that joining up with Darci, April, Christina and Natasha for Five on Friday would be just perfect!

 

1. I recently chopped off my hair, and when I got it done in a little of an asymmetrical cut, she sprinkled some of this volume powder on, and now I'm obsessed. Its called Beyond the Zone Rock On Volumizing Powder and its a whopping $5 bucks at Sally's. A little sprinkle and you can jack your hair up to high heaven. For fine haired girls like me, it's a godsend.



2. I'm a sucker for a fresh baked baby, and this weeks birth of the newest Royal Prince George was no exception.  Seriously? How cute was that kid?! Also, how refreshing was it to see the world news outlets go crazy over something good like the birth of a baby, rather than the usual crap that's all over the tv?  I thought Kate looked amazeballs for having given birth 24 hours before she appeared on those steps. To all of the people who thought she should hide her post-baby belly- shut it. When I left the hospital after having the Grayson Boy I did it in yoga pants and a pony tail-and my jiggly belly was there in full force making me still appear five months pregnant. I applaud her for being brave enough to show that off, it was a great change from the celebrities who leave the hospital 20 pounds lighter than when they got pregnant and attribute it to good genes. We all know they're liars, but Kate kept it real. I totally think the Duchess and I should be Mommy friends- I'm just waiting for the right time to send her an invite for a play date.

3. I have less than one month before I have to go back to work. Wah. I'm excited to get back into the swing of things, but Im sad to leave my little man. I also don't want that alarm to go off at 5am...after a summer of 7-9 AM wakeups, that's always the hardest part.

4. Im currently planning Grayson's second birthday. How the eff is my kid almost two?? He was very adamant this year that he wanted a Thomas/Curious George themed party, and I had no idea how to pull that off. So we decided that we would do a Thomas party for his friends and then a Curious George party for the family on his actual birthday. Problem solved, right? Except now I have two parties to plan. Fail. If you've been following me on Pinterest, you've seen the pins. (If you're not following me, why the heck not?  While you're at it, find me on twitter and instagram too- we can be friends!) I cant wait to share the birthday crazy plans with you next month- Momma has one month to DIY her way through TWO parties. Next year, its back to one party for sure.

5. In roughly 15 hours we will be loading into the car and headed for one of my favorite places on earth, the Outer Banks!

I grew up going there for weeks in the summer with my grandparents and our extended family, and I just adored it. Two years into dating and I took my beach hating boyfriend there for a week and he fell in love as well. If you've never been, its a place you simply must go at least once. Depending on your vacation "preference" you can pick a village that is either more laid back and family friendly or more populated and trendy. I'm in desperate need of a beach as I really haven't been to one since our honeymoon in 2010. My only bummer for this trip is my luggage Nazi husband- who is insistent I not over pack. He really tried to talk me out of taking a stroller and more than one pair of shoes. I'm not sure if he is aware of who he married or not, but this is not a battle he will win. If you'll be in the OBX next week, hope to see you there! Ill be the one laying on the beach while my in-laws wrangle my toddler. Life is beautiful!

 

Spaghetti Meatballs- and no, I did not forget the &.

 

The hubs is pretty picky- so its easy to get into a funk of eating the same things week after week and I REFUSE to be the Hamburger Monday, Pizza Friday people.  So I'm always looking for ways to change things up to kind of break him out of his usual favorites.

 

This is one of the ways I manage to make the hum-drum spaghetti a little fun and different.

 

 

Enter spaghetti meatballs. A jumbo meatball with spaghetti mixed into the meatball.

 

Ingredients:

1/8 pound spaghetti or angel hair pasta- literally a handful about the size of a quarter.

1 to 1.5 pounds ground meat (you can use beef, turkey, or a mix of beef, veal and pork- whatever you prefer! I used ground beef because my turkey wasn't defrosted, but both are delish!)

 grated parmesan cheese (I toss in a couple of handfuls)

1 tsp powdered garlic

1 tsp onion powder

2 tbsp. Italian seasoning

1 egg

 

 

1. Cook the spaghetti, drain and allow to cool. I usually toss it in cold water for a few minutes to chill before I mix it into the meatballs so I don't scald my hands.  Once its cool I drain it again and put it on some paper towels to dry out a little. Too much water makes for bad meatballs.

 

 

2. In a mixing bowl toss in the meat, spices, egg, cooked spaghetti and cheese. I use the cheese instead of breadcrumbs, but you could do both if you like.  You can also play with the seasonings a bit to get them the way you like. Then dive on in there and get to mixing.

 

 

3. Spray a muffin tin with PAM to keep them from sticking, and form big meatballs. The goal is to make them the size of the opening on the pan, so they sit up off of the bottom. That way the fat drips out and away from the meatballs. 

 

4. Bake at 400 for 30-35 minutes, or until done inside. The spaghetti on the outside will get crunchy and stay soft on the inside.

5. While baking, make a quick tomato sauce. I have been told I make a mean sauce, but its really super simple. I don't really have measurements, I just put stuff in until it tastes right- but here is the general idea.

 

Ingredients:

2 cans of sauce

Extra Virgin Olive Oil

1-3 cloves of grated garlic

Italian seasoning

Onion powder

Chilli Pepper Flakes

Kosher Salt

Sugar

 

 

First, in a saucepan put a tbsp. of oil. Turn on medium low heat. Add a sprinkle of pepper flakes and grate the garlic into the oil. If you like mild garlic, use one clove if you like lots of garlic add more- its up to you. Allow the oil to warm up and infuse with the pepper and garlic flavors.

 

 

Once it warms up the garlic will start to speak to you and melt a bit. That's when you add in the tomato sauce, because you don't want the garlic and pepper flakes to burn. Stir the garlic and oil mix into the sauce to get the flavor spread out. 

 

Add in about half a palm-ful of Italian seasoning, and a quarter palm-ful of kosher salt. Then I add in about 1/2 teaspoon of onion powder and a spoon of sugar to cut down the acidity of the tomatoes. I let that all come together and then taste to see what it needs and add it if it does. You can never take it out, but you can always add it later.

 

 

6. When the meatballs are done, pull them out of the oven and run a knife around the rim of the muffin cup and they'll pop right out.

 

 

7. Plate them up. You can either serve them on a plate with sauce and a bit of mozzarella cheese, or eat them like my husband does. He prefers to smash one between two slices of crusty bread with some sauce and no cheese. Both are delish. Mine is a bit lower carb, however.

 

 

 

Enjoy!