Ah Motherhood- you are a tricky devil. I don't think anything makes you feel like you can do it all and makes you realize know absolutely nothing about anything at the exact same time. In these short months that I have been a Mama I have had successes and failures, and each one taught me something different.
1. Even if you are terrified of giving birth, and 40+ weeks you will NOT be saying "I'm too scared to have this baby". Rather you will say "Get this kid out of my kidneys and off of my bladder" to anyone who will listen. I'm pretty sure the hubs was never more surprised when I said flat out to the doctor to take Grayson by C-Section (considering I pass out at the thought of needles on a normal day) because I wanted nothing more than to snuggle my baby and have him stop kicking me in the bladder.
2. The moment that child is born, you learn what love really is. Yes you love your spouse, your pets, your family- but until you lay eyes on your own baby you've got no idea. Trust me on this one.
3. Babies can sense when you're upset. When Grayson was a bitty bean and he would get sick, he never wanted me- he wanted his Daddy. I couldn't figure out what was wrong, why my baby didn't want me- I really felt like a failure. I would be lying if it didn't make me cry that he reached for Daddy and not Mommy- and Patrick of course thought it was amazing that he was the favorite. One day I realized that whenever Grayson didn't feel well, I got all worked up and he could tell that I was all wired. Patrick is probably one of the most laid back men on the planet, so when Grayson would lay on him he just felt relaxed. Once I figured that out, I chilled out, and all of a sudden he loved his Mama and wanted me.
4. You are never prepared- motherhood will always get you. You just have to run to the store for a quick second? Thats when your kid will poop out of his diaper. You have a change of clothes? They will need two or three. Just be prepared to accept defeat, its easier that way.
5. If you're excited and just oh-so-sure your little bundle of joy is going to love something, there is a good chance they will hate it. I wanted to cloth diaper and I loved Sophie and the Mama-Roo- he wears disposables, threw Sophie and screamed the whole time in the Mama Roo. Consider it practice for the teenage years when they will fight you on everything.
6. Its impossible to find the information for easy questions like how much formula should you buy? All I wanted was someone to say you need X amount of diapers a week and you'll need X amount of formula, but it was nowhere. That's because every baby is different, and its impossible to predict how they will eat/pee/poo from day to day. Here's a good place to start, as a newborn you can expect to go through around 2 containers of formula a week and around 12 diapers a day.
7. In college we all pulled fun all nighters where you managed to go for a few days without sleep. Do not think that life with a baby will be the same. All nighters will be frequent, but you can no longer handle them with the same zest and vigor you once did. Invest in a good coffee pot and some strong dark circle concealer.
8. Its okay. Its okay if the toddler wants to eat nothing but a banana and some cheese its for lunch. Its okay if you cant remember when you last switched the laundry. Its okay if the baby and you don't get out of pj's until three minutes before Daddy walks in the door. Its okay to sniff your baby in public to see if he or she has pooped. Its okay if you hide in the bathroom to eat the Reece's Cup so you don't have to share with a tiny human. Really, its okay. The people who judge either never had kids or they just suck, period.
9. You develop some super human strength as a Mom. Those infant carriers are heavy, and yet you can juggle one of them loaded with a 20 pound baby and all of the groceries with ease. You can also resist the urge to cry out when you stub your toe after putting baby down to sleep or step on a lego on the way out the door after checking on a sleeping toddler. You learn to change the rankest of diapers and clean up the grossest of messes without gagging, even if your gag reflex is in full swing when it comes to anything not child related.
10. No one will love that baby as much as you, or know what they need like you can. If you think something is right for your baby, then trust your gut. Doctors, Mothers, Mothers In Law, friends and even complete strangers may have advice, but if its not right for you and your baby then tell them to stick it. They'll respect you for it, and if they don't you really won't care.
11. Find Mommy friends. They will be your biggest support system, because someone who doesn't have kids just cant get why you do not attend dinner parties after bedtime or refuse to skip the all holy nap time. Mommies will get it.
and lastly
12. You are an awesome Mommy. I know there are days you don't feel like it. There are days you yell at the baby or get stressed out and feel like the worst Mom in the world. You are not. You are amazing and wonderful and you just need someone to remind you of that. If you ever find yourself in that situation, just email, tweet, or comment- Ill let you know how amazing you are :)
The best moment of my life hands down- even if I was tied down and sliced open.
5. If you're excited and just oh-so-sure your little bundle of joy is going to love something, there is a good chance they will hate it. I wanted to cloth diaper and I loved Sophie and the Mama-Roo- he wears disposables, threw Sophie and screamed the whole time in the Mama Roo. Consider it practice for the teenage years when they will fight you on everything.
6. Its impossible to find the information for easy questions like how much formula should you buy? All I wanted was someone to say you need X amount of diapers a week and you'll need X amount of formula, but it was nowhere. That's because every baby is different, and its impossible to predict how they will eat/pee/poo from day to day. Here's a good place to start, as a newborn you can expect to go through around 2 containers of formula a week and around 12 diapers a day.
7. In college we all pulled fun all nighters where you managed to go for a few days without sleep. Do not think that life with a baby will be the same. All nighters will be frequent, but you can no longer handle them with the same zest and vigor you once did. Invest in a good coffee pot and some strong dark circle concealer.
8. Its okay. Its okay if the toddler wants to eat nothing but a banana and some cheese its for lunch. Its okay if you cant remember when you last switched the laundry. Its okay if the baby and you don't get out of pj's until three minutes before Daddy walks in the door. Its okay to sniff your baby in public to see if he or she has pooped. Its okay if you hide in the bathroom to eat the Reece's Cup so you don't have to share with a tiny human. Really, its okay. The people who judge either never had kids or they just suck, period.
9. You develop some super human strength as a Mom. Those infant carriers are heavy, and yet you can juggle one of them loaded with a 20 pound baby and all of the groceries with ease. You can also resist the urge to cry out when you stub your toe after putting baby down to sleep or step on a lego on the way out the door after checking on a sleeping toddler. You learn to change the rankest of diapers and clean up the grossest of messes without gagging, even if your gag reflex is in full swing when it comes to anything not child related.
10. No one will love that baby as much as you, or know what they need like you can. If you think something is right for your baby, then trust your gut. Doctors, Mothers, Mothers In Law, friends and even complete strangers may have advice, but if its not right for you and your baby then tell them to stick it. They'll respect you for it, and if they don't you really won't care.
11. Find Mommy friends. They will be your biggest support system, because someone who doesn't have kids just cant get why you do not attend dinner parties after bedtime or refuse to skip the all holy nap time. Mommies will get it.
and lastly
12. You are an awesome Mommy. I know there are days you don't feel like it. There are days you yell at the baby or get stressed out and feel like the worst Mom in the world. You are not. You are amazing and wonderful and you just need someone to remind you of that. If you ever find yourself in that situation, just email, tweet, or comment- Ill let you know how amazing you are :)
The best moment of my life hands down- even if I was tied down and sliced open.
Bethany - Great post!
ReplyDeleteThis is such a great post! I especially like number 11! My best friend and I were just talking about how Coopers bedtime is 7pm which means that I miss out on A LOT but that it is so worth it because he has such a great schedule!! She has a daughter, so she gets it!
ReplyDeleteYou are a great mommy and that picture is so sweet, having a c-section seems like it would be such a strange/more surreal than birth already is experience to me!
What a great post. It was funny and heartwarming all at the same time. I loved number 8, especially this part: "Its okay if you hide in the bathroom to eat the Reece's Cup so you don't have to share with a tiny human. Really, its okay." I'm not a mommy yet but I ADORE children and every day I look forward to motherhood! Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDelete