Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Mom Fails- Things I never thought I'd hear myself say out loud

In reality, I'm still new to this whole Mom thing.  Knowing that, I'm shocked that in his short little life span Grayson has made some of these phrases come out of my mouth. The worst part HAS to be that you have to say these things with a straight face- and sometimes when you look back on the moment you have no idea how you managed to not pee your pants. I know we all have something that our children have made us say that we can't believe, so please feel free to share so that I don't feel like the only one!

No! We do not eat the dog's food!
Please do no lick the kitchen floor, that's gross.
Grayson, where did you find powder?
*as he leads me to the pantry where he has exploded a WHOLE bag of flour onto every imaginable surface*
Buddy, we don't make it snow inside, that makes Mommy mad and we are out of wine.
Quit poking the dog in the butt!
Hold still- I need to pick your booger!!
Please stop shoving cheese in your ear.
What did you just flush down the potty???!
We don't laugh out loud when we fart, we say excuse me!
Whats in your mouth? Why are you eating a penny? Didn't Daddy feed you today?!
We do not chase the doggies with our toys, and we do NOT beat the dog over the head with them either!
Do you have to pee? No? Well then its not appropriate to grab yourself and dance in public.  Please stop that.
We do not drink the dogs water!!
Please dont scrub the sink with Daddy's toothbrush, he will not be happy!
Oh Motherhood- how you continue to surprise me.  


  1. Yeah that is funny and I'm sure we have all said that one time or another. Have a great day :-)

  2. LOL! #3 kills me! I have actually said something along those lines! We also have cats, so the ones about the dog crack me up! LOL! Too funny! Have a great day!


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